WEEKENDS AT 30

        It's been a rough week, right? Now we're all looking forward to the sunny (rowdy?) weekend ahead. Some of us are only living for that, sadly. At 30s, you think you have it all figured out, but only one call from  a friend asking to meet up for drinks is all it takes to become a complete clueless mess.

 Back on our roaring twenties, this is a no brainer. Friday through Saturday nights are the best days of our lives, and sometimes even Sunday afternoons. We'll only slow down on Sunday evenings, when the grim realization that Monday is inevitable has already started creeping up. 

But now at your calmer 30s, what do people your age usually do during weekends? After a lot of observation and painful personal experience, here's what I've got:

1.) They prefer to stay at home. No shit Sherlock. People in their 30s are always tired or sick. So staying at home never sounded any better.

2.) When they go out, it's usually just at some friend's house. They prefer to hang out inside the house still, just not their own house. Well on the brighter side, some of their friends are already moving to new houses, so it's always nice to pay a visit now and then.

3.) When they go out, they prefer open spaces like rooftop bars or open air bars. It's nice to actually be able to have a conversation while gettin' fucked up. Indoor clubs can't provide you any of that.

4.) When they go clubbing, it's usually out of town like music festivals, annual holiday raves, etc. If you're already married, clubbing in the metro is no more fun. It's nice to really dance and get messed up on a nice beach somewhere with your long-time friends, compared to throwing up on a puke/piss-filled toilet on your local pub.

5.) Travel has become therapy and a luxury. Whether it's a financial or an existential crisis, most of them crave to get away every time bad luck comes knocking. But oftentimes, they can't just go. Work, family, kids and other adult commitments makes it almost impossible to be away even for a day. Planning usually takes months only to end up not going. 

6.) Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Those non-alcoholic friends of mine look forward to trying all the new cafés weekly. It has become their salvation.

7.) Groceries. What's more therapeutic than having to walk on different aisles of soaps and detergents on a rainy weekend?

8.) Laundry and cleaning day. Don't be surprised to see a lot of us hanging out at the laundry shop with our phones or even laptop all day. This is the only time we have actual time and will to do these things.

9.) Sleeping in. They are just too tired of their lives and angry at the world that sleep outshines everything else.

10.) Nothing. Sometimes they want to do this and do that. But there's no one available, or they're broke. Or they simply don't know what they want, and that's okay. We're just big clueless kids who have jobs to pay bills after all. 

 

Can you relate?

11 Songs that will give you a good cry

11 Songs that will make you reminisce, think and eventually cry.

Sometimes all you need is that one friend and good music to get you through the day.

So here’s to us going all through this hell and sh*t.

     1.  Amos Lee – Colors

“..Now I'm down,

I'm just hanging on the corner
I can't help but reminisce…”

Well this is one afternoon song you have to hear when you just got dumped, or you just got into a heavy fight with her. This will jerk your tears faster than your mom’s mouth.  This song will make you think, make you reminisce and make you realize his or her real worth. This might also make you realize how dull the world is when you’re alone.

    2. Turn your love – Jack Johnson

“..I don't want you to know
Let's not go to sleep tonight
It's not that it goes too fast
It's just that it goes at all..”

When we talk about Jack Johnson, it always screams feel –good chill out songs. And feel good doesn’t always mean feel right after hearing it, mind. This one is a simple yet deep kind of a gloomy song, the type that the people in their late 20’s or early 30’s can surely relate. But hey everybody still can it just depends where you’re coming from.  This song talks about two old lovers parting, they don’t want to but they have to, and they have accepted that. And they’re just trying to make the most of the time remaining in their relationship. Ironic as it may seems, that always happen in real life.

          3.  A Beautiful Mess- Jason Mraz

“…And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together..”

Well to be different, this one isn’t a break up or hate song. This one is just a sad love song. The lyrics are right but the tune, it just makes you feel beautifully sad. This one is for the lost souls who eventually found themselves again. And for the finders who truly appreciate the treasure they’ve found amidst all the damaged pieces of broken heart and dreams. 

 4.    Don’t say goodbye, say goodnight- Binocular

“..And now I've tried to see the truth
But I close my eyes
And you were there for me
And I was there for you..”

This one’s a classic. If you’re a 90’s kid then you’ve probably grown up to this kind of alternative music. The title speaks for itself. It’s one sad break up song. This song relives a hundred of memories in my mind, and the happiest are surely the hardest to think about. This one is perfect for the final moments of your relationship. The time when you finally decided that it’s time to go. Listening to this kind of hurts pretty badly when you really get into the zone and the lyrics are just too right.

 5.     Better that we break- Maroon 5

“..Now waking up is hard to do
Sleeping's impossible too
And every thing's reminding me of you..”

Well this is a post break up song. Maybe days, months or even years after the break up, and you found yourself still in love with that girl or guy but you realize it’s for the best to stay that way, this one’s perfect. This one will hit you hard after realizing that you still haven’t moved on, but you’d rather stay away because it’s your fault why all these happened. So you’ll just continue living sulking at the thought of it all, and wait till it all the emotions finally wither or pass by hopefully.

 

6.     Vienna- the Fray

“..Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again
Straighten this whole thing out
Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy..”

Again, a break up song for all of you guys. But this is like one of Jack Johnson’s, the deep and haunting type of music they always seem to have behind the beauty of their tunes.  This
 is for the one’s leaving town, going away for good, the ones leaving it all behind and letting fate decide for the relationship.  The ones determined to forget, this one is for you. 

7.  Come around- Rhett Miller

“..No one else can fix me
Although sometimes my heart tricks me
Into thinkin' someone else will do..”

Well this one’s another classic 90’s song.  It’s been used in the soundtrack of the American comedy series Scrubs.  It’s another post break up song, but with simple yet clear and bold lyrics everyone can surely relate to.  Months and a few failed relationships after the break up, you hear this song. And bam, you suddenly realized who really mattered from the start and how your life sucks now that the time and chance has gone.

 8.    Breathe in, breathe out – Mat Kearney

“..Hold on, hold tight
Make it through another night
And everyday, there comes a song with the dawn..”

This one belongs to the soundtrack of Grey’s Anatomy Volume 3, this isn’t a break up song. But this is for the struggling relationships. The one’s holding on a thin line, and for the ones fighting to hold on. This one’s good. The song’s not actually sad in fact it speaks about real love, but what makes it heart wrenching is the memories that go along with the tune as you play it. It will surely come crashing down. 

9.   Not over you- Gavin Degraw

“..Dreams
That’s where I have to go
To see your beautiful
Face anymore ..”

Well this one’s a good upbeat yet still very miserable song.  For the hopeless and the hopefuls, this is just right. For the ones left behind, the ones who haven’t a single bit moved on, for the ones hoping to get back and give it another shot and lastly for the in denials. Sometimes it’s easy making yourself believe that you’re already fine, but one good song is all you need to wake up to the sheer reality that you’ve been trying to avoid all this time. 

10.  Stay High- Tove Lo ft. Hippie Sabotage

“..Staying in my play pretend
Where the fun ain't got no end
Can't go home alone again
Need someone to numb the pain..”

This is a new song actually. And it will hit you harder than your mom’s hands once you feel where the song is coming from. This is for the ones who find it real damn hard to accept the truth that it’s over. The ones who want to escape reality. The poor people who try to live life in the shimmer of clubs, drugs and alcohol just to get away from it all, this is the song for you. This one is really sad, especially when this happens to explain your life right now.

11. Everybody Knows- John Legend

“…I'm calling your name and no one's there...”

Who doesn’t love John Legend? Amidst all of his famed love songs I found this good break up tune. For the ones who’ve been cheated on or been left behind, for the ones regretting what could have been, and for the hopefuls wishing there could have been a second chance to make things right. This one might help you take a step inch closer to acceptance and moving on. But still I won’t guarantee that it wouldn’t fill up your eyes.

 

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MOVING ON AND GETTING USED TO IT.

Do you really believe in moving on?  Maybe or maybe not and there’s no wrong answer. But for me, I think getting used to- is more like it. Or maybe moving on comes right after you get used to all the haze.  You can put it anyway you want but the one thing’s for sure, there’s no paved road for this. It’s going to be rough.       

                   

                There’s a difference between saying goodbye and letting go. You can basically say goodbye and not feel a pang of pain simply because a single word doesn’t guarantee a definite closure. You don’t close yourself to the certainty of not meeting again. You’re just parting ways for some time and you can always stay in touch because you’ll allow yourself to. But letting go, it’s a different world we’re talking about. Letting go is something definite, something firm and painful. It is a decision not made overnight, sometimes it takes days, weeks, months or for some unfortunately, years. It’s laying down the line, finally closing the door, and deciding to walk away, for good.

                These two words kind of get mixed up sometimes though. You can say goodbye and think of it as letting go but that doesn’t always work, you may wake up one night when the pain finally and suddenly comes crashing down out of nowhere from the distant past. That’s why saying goodbye isn’t easy, unless you really mean it. If the night before the moment of truth comes and you’re still having second thoughts, then DON’T do it. I repeat. DON’T DO IT.  This could be the worst decision of your life. This could be the biggest regret you’ll ever have.  Because once you said it, it’s like a continuous spell that will magically affect all your days ahead. Are you really prepared for it? Or is it just your pride getting in the way? Once you lay down the line, it will automatically affect your significant other. They will get hurt of course, and getting hurt doesn’t always guarantee an open heart for second chances. What if all this was just a spill of the moment anger and you DON’T really mean it, can you take all the words back? Yes you can apologize but it won’t be the same, a shattered glass will never be the same even if you glue it back a hundred times.

                Once this happens and the two of you resulted to splitting up, you force yourself to move on the fastest way possible. You jump into all the diversions available; Drinking, smoking, sex and drugs, whatever you fancy. You get to the next train and move out quicker than the sunset that afternoon.  It will all be a haze at first, and yes I won’t contradict that this helps, BUT only for awhile.  You can move out or drink all you want, get high as the Everest, and turn down like your neighborhood whore but still, you can’t escape. You just can’t.  He or she will be practically everywhere, like a ghost haunting you even in your dreams.

                So that’s why it’s very important to be sure about your decision. Then if you really want to end things, then you have to deal with it afterwards, not run away from it. You can cry, nobody said you can’t. You have to go through the stages. You have to face it the right way, come home to your family or call your closest friend and whine your heart out. Cry until you actually fall to sleep, until you have tears to spare. Empty your body fluids if that’s the way to go. Because eventually you will get tired, the tears will dry up, and finally, you will get USED to it.  And once you get used to it, I think that’s the only time the words moved on are appropriate.

Best of luck.