Lost at 23

I guess when you're nearing 24 and jobless, you might as well consider that a near- death experience. Well for me it is, as much as I wanted to laugh about it, sometimes I just can't anymore.
After almost a year of job- hunting I finally snatched a job in one of the well -known companies in the country. But as always as it is, rainbows only last for so long.  Things went from bad to worst, there wasn't even a good one to start with. Well after 5 grueling months of denial and struggling, I finally left. And the moment I walked out the door, I knew I was doomed. I've been into the dungeons and horrors of finding myself a job for over a year and now here I am again, back on track.

I never considered myself ill-witted or something, I've seen better days when I was still in school, I haven't really had that much problems on exams and passing, now I don't know why I'm having such a hell of a good time looking out for a job. The experience isn't any close to normal anymore. Most of my friends got a thing or two just a month after leaving their college doors. And here I am, bleeding my heart out in this article.

Maybe because I wasn't sure of so many things in my life, that I don't even know what career best suits me. I wish I had thought of this back then, when I was still in college, I wished I've thought about how my towering height (5'3") won't let me in the airline industry and how my condition (skin asthma) won't let me step into the hotel and resort industry. I wished I knew how cruel the world can be when you stepped out of school.

Now I'm stuck, sitting in front of this laptop every goddamn afternoon, wondering how my life ended up this way. I'm stuck here wanting to deactivate all my social accounts so as not to see how almost all my friends are out there living the dream and I'm here eating leftover food from the fridge. It's funny how the people who need the most always end up with the emptiest hands every time. All I wanted was some stability for my age, some blueberry cheesecake and a day or two with my folks every week where I can take them to places while they're still up and able. Not so much isn't it? No brand new Iphone 6 there or some shitty 500$ branded bag on the list. Funny how when you want something so humbly normal, the richer kid beside you always gets something more. Is that how an ass life can be?

Well I hope she plays fair sometimes, instead of taking the life and soul of so many people who weren't as strong and creative enough to think of possibilities on how to make it. I know I'm not the only one in this path, for those who are with me in this ride, let's just try to keep it all together and keep a hold of the handlebar for some more. It's way too bumpy now, I know. Who knows, the paved road we've been dreaming about might be in the next turn.