There are no perfect list or reasons to justify why we always end up hurting ourselves. We can't always blame other people for our misery, sometimes the problem is innate. Here are three basic reasons why we do what we do:
1.) We expect.
Expectation is the number one killer of dreams and aspirations, it messes up with our view of our own reality. We expect things to go this way, or to be that way. That when we end up getting a far cry from what we painted it to be, we get frustrated and hurt. Sometimes this is an unconscious act, when things are going smooth and fine, we automatically expect it to become better and better. But this is no fairy tale honey, it isn't rainbows and butterflies all year round. It's okay to expect, just don't forget what the world really is like.
2.) We care. Too Much.
When we become attached to someone, be it a friend or a loved one. Our natural instinct is to care and protect them, sometimes too much that we usually end up overlooking ourselves. Sometimes we care too much because we think that they would care as much for our well-being too. But sometimes, it's just a one-sided love affair. And when this becomes a habit, they become a parasite and you will be the source. You give away all your love and time for these people who are so at ease and convinced that you'll always be there whatever happens, that they don't feel the need to reciprocate anything. That sucks right. Might as well practice the IDGAF mindset sometimes.
3.) We always forget one of the golden rules: The only constant thing is change.
Contrary to the belief that time hardens everything., it actually changes everything. Even years of friendship changes gradually, it's just up to us to direct where and how it's gonna go. We don't really notice, but when we become comfortable with the people around us, we assume that nothing's gonna change, and when it does, we drastically fight it. We struggle to hold on to something that's inevitable in the first place. We always forget that change is imminent and there's nothing we can do, not even our tears and long speeches, to stop it. We just have to accept it and move on. As what they always say, what goes around comes around.
